A letter to my younger self: A reposting

My sister from a parallel universe asked me to pen a missive to my 18-year-old stubborn self.  While I obliged, I shied away from posting it on my own blog as some of the people I mentioned might read it and be offended.  Then I realized, and so what?  These are my thoughts, these are my experiences.  If the aforementioned people get offended, then, that's not really my problem. Still, a shout out: apologies if I somehow step on your toes, but you should've been effing nicer at that time. *wink*

So here you go.  For the first time, a Letter to Lisane.

Hello, little lady.

This is your future self. I need you to listen to me: whatever you’re going through right now, in five years’ time, it won’t matter. You’ll be a strong, successful woman with a wonderful man by your side and a circle of friends that will test your patience and strengthen your character. But before you get there, you need to go through the pain.

First, I’ll tell you about love.

That man you’ll meet in the football field, the one who’ll bandage your foot–love him, but not too much. He will break your heart and destroy your world–but you will be alright.

That other man you’ll meet in the field — with the dreads and kind eyes — don’t push it. He’s a coward who offers you material things instead of the things you really need. When you break up with him for the third time, let go. I’m telling you, he only seems special because you want him to be so.

You’ll meet other boys, date, and explore. Whatever you do, don’t date that guy you’ll go to a hiking trip with. Five years later your guilt of how you treated him will still haunt you.

Second, write. Follow your passion. Play football, disobey your mom, scale the walls, injure your knees. But most importantly, write. Don’t worry about befriending your blockmates — they will never get you. Be a leader, and look for answers. Above all, be ready. You’ll take a shortcut and will fall into a lake. Literally.

You’ll get a job before you graduate, enjoy it. A month later you’ll get a better one. That’s right, fight for your people. Pull the man’s curls and show him that you can’t be pushed around. Take a rest, slow down. You’re already ahead of the rat race, stop running so fast.

I’ll tell you to save, but that would be futile.

Baby girl, the future is hard. You’ll be plagued with problems that range from mundane to gut-wrenching. You’ll witness favoritism, corruption, and lose respect for somebody. But hang in there, things will get better.

Throughout your life you’ll struggle. But I trust you. Five years have passed and I can still look back with no regrets. You’ll do a fine job of growing up. You’ll make mistakes, but will learn from them. And everything that will happen to you has a reason — I know that now.

Be more vocal about your affections.  Tell your parents that you love them, hug your big brother.   Right now you might think that they don't understand, but they do, and they will always be there for you. 

Last, be open to opportunities. You will say yes in a way that you never thought would positively change your life.

The only thing I wish you did then, and what I’m telling you to do now: go buy trolls. Five years later, you’ll wish you didn’t throw them away.

Now chin up, and grab a book.  Your eyesight might and will fail you, but the different worlds you'll visit will create lasting impressions. 

Drawing Lines

There will come a time that you have to establish boundaries. An acquaintance to a friend. A friend to something more. A best friend to a lover. And, when that lover does something of magnitude consequences, the decision to remain true on your ideals--or to forgive.

Where do you draw the line? When emotions are concerned, how do you know when to say "it's too much," or when to say "I know the consequences would be bad, but to hell with it. I want this."

Right now I'm indulging in a solitary lunch, contemplating the recent events of the last few days. I'm sitting on my favorite couch, nursing my favorite meal and smoothie, as the late afternoon's sun bathes me in its purity. I gaze out the window and see the CBD bustling with life. I'm tired, worn, scrubbed raw, and about to keel over with fatigue, but still I breathe. And somehow, I'm happy.

The lines were drawn. The boundaries established. I guess this is how it will be from now on. Like a toddler learning to color for the first time and fighting the urge to color outside the lines, it, too, will be an uphill battle for me. But the decision is made, and somehow, I have to stand by it.

With that, I will put down my phone, and return to my temaki. And marvel how a moment of prayer can immediately transform me.

Give a well-loved book a new home

Hello friends!

It's that time of the year again.  I'm cleaning out my bookshelves to gain valuable shelf space.  You know the drill--second hand books for affordable prices. :)

Below's the list. For additional photos and book synopsis, check out my page at eBay.


Happy shopping!


List:

Chelsea Handler Collection: Buy the three books for only P1,000.00


My Horizontal Life: A Collection of one-night stands by Chelsea Handler
P300, in Very Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover

 

Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
P300, in Excellent Condition
Hardbound, with plastic cover




Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler
P450, in Like New Condition
Hardbound, with plastic cover


The Second Assistant by Clare Naylor and Mimi Hare
P200, in Very Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover, pages are a bit yellow, sticker marks on the front




A Swift Pure Cry by Siobhan Dorud
P300, in Like New Condition
Hard bound, with the barcode part a little bit torn. Original price is P615.


Kill Your Darlings by Terence Blacker
P150, in Very Good condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover, yellowed pages

Queen of Dragons by Shana Abé
P300, in Excellent Condition
Hardbound


Confessions of a Slacker Mom by Muffy Mead-Ferro
P250, Brand New
Paperback

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
P200, in Like New Condition
Trade paperback, with sticker marks


The Merlin Conspiracy by Diana Wynne Jones
P200, in Excellent Condition
Trade Paperback


Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding
P100, in Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover, yellowed pages


Typical American by Gish Jen
P100, in Very Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover


The Language of Threads by Gail Tsukiyama
P150, in Very Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover

Ash by Malinda Lo
P300, Brand New
Hardbound


Four Bare Legs in a Bed by Helen Simpson
P150, in Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover, yellowed pages

Whispers of the Past: A Charmed Novel
P50, in Old Condition
Paperback, yellow pages, with nick on spine, no torn pages

Gotham Tragic by Kurt Wenzel
P200, in Very Good Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover

Feathered Serpent: A Novel of the Mexican Conquest by Colin Falconer
P10, Good
Trade paperback, with sticker marks and price on the front


Spanish Lover by Joanna Trollope 50, Good
Trade Paperback, sticker marks, yellowed pages


Just For Kicks by Susan Andersen
P200, in Very Good Condition
Paperback, sticker mark, with plastic cover


Life Mask by Emma Donoghue
P250, in Like New Condition
Trade Paperback, with plastic cover, crisp white pages



The Fine Print:
Meet-ups in Makati during weekdays along Makati Med, RCBC, and Ayala Ave. If you’re unavailable, then I can ship the items. Minimum shipping fee is P120.

An Ode to Drivers and Pedestrians

Those who know me in real life will attest of how much I talk about my car Minx, or Minxie, when she’s being a particular vixen.  Minxie’s the source of my financial woes.  Since getting her less than four months ago, she depleted my savings account to the point that I can no longer buy books on a whim—something I consider as a necessity before clearly became a luxury. She also drinks fuel like alcoholics would down bottle after another of their favorite drink. 

Minxie is also famous for her snobbery—she tends to act up when she doesn’t like the passenger.  So far, it has only happened to one person, who also happens to be my soul sister and we’re constantly together.  So when there are night-outs and outings and she happens to be my passenger, something would always happen to Minx.  A busted wiper, a wiper would suddenly breakoff, alarms wouldn’t go off, gutters would rise from their usual positions, a burning smell would take over the car—you get the idea.  At one point or another, my feisty Minx would display her anger at being subjected to my friend’s presence.  I, however, gave her (the car) a severe talking down and she seemed to cower. Yet I am to invite my friend for a ride as I’m actually scared of what would happen next.

Yes, this post has a point.  Despite my ramblings about how Minx inhales the contents of my wallet for her upgrade, maintenance, and fuel, I love her.  She gives me freedom to go wherever I want, and go there with whomever I want to go with (except my sister from a parallel universe.  I think Minxie is jealous of our friendship, so Minx is trying to boot out my friend from the equation).  She stops me from drinking too much (or from drinking at all) and staying up too late.  Most of all, she made me realize how precious life is, and why I shouldn’t indulge in road rage. 

With that, I would like toshare these nuggets of wisdom for drivers and pedestrians, to make traveling better:

For Drivers:

·  A red light means stop, a yellow means a warning.  The yellow doesn’t mean that you have to floor your pedal to beat the red. It means “Slow down, hotshot.  The light’s about to turn red, and you could get in a vehicular accident if you insist on going fast instead of stopping when the other lane’s given the signal to go.”

·       If you see a signal light blinking in your peripheral vision, it means that the driver is asking politely to join your lane.  Do not take that as an insult toyour masculinity.  Slow down, and let the car pass.  After all, the driver asked politely.

·        Likewise, signal your intent if you want to transfer lanes.  Do not suddenly cut in front of another vehicle.  What if the driver behind you was PMSing and would rather hit your bumper than to let you pass?  It’s called Road Courtesy: as a driver you should be proficient in that language

·        Again, on joining lanes.  If you’re a jeepney or taxi driver who wants to un/load passengers, please go to the right most lane.  Do not stop in the middle of the street amidst the beeping horns of the other vehicles. Or else you will be cursed by the driver you inconvenience to hell and back.  You may not hear the ramblings, ofcourse, but please feel bad that you’re causing your fellow drivers distress

·        Repeat after me: I will not toot my horn for no particular reason.  During bumper to bumper traffic, tooting your horn wouldn’t get you to your destination faster.  You will only annoy yourself,and sooner or later another driver would knock on your window, and punch the living daylights out of you.

·        For the drivers of buses and trucks, please use your side-mirrors.  Given Minxie’s slight build, she’s often bullied by big vehicles.  Please be nice to small cars.  Otherwise I will call my Kuya and Dad, who both drive racing cars.  You may not be into racing, but they’re going to make you wish you were nicer to that small Honda Jazz.

·        Lastly, for motorcycles, when drivers tell you to go ahead, please do not stop, pretend to let the car pass, only to go when the car’s moving.  Trust me, you WILL get hit if you insist on doing this. When a car stops in front of you and the driver waves you to go, please go.  And please have the courtesy to say thank you, or at least wave a hand in gratitude. 

For Pedestrians:

·      The pedestrian lane is made for a reason.  Please use it.

·      Even though the street is devoid of traffic and there’s only one car on the road, please check how fast the car is going first before crossing the road.  Chances are, if the car is going 120 km/h and you decided to walk leisurely in front of it, you will be hit. 

·        Please do not use the road as a meeting place for you and your friends.  Walk a few steps further and you’ll be on a sidewalk. That place is safer.

·        If you do decide to cross the road, please do it accordingly.  Do not pretend that you’re on a date while crossing the street and kiss your partner while cars are honking their horns for the two of you to please get off the road and get a room.

·        Do not take baby steps when crossing the road.  You are interrupting drivers who have somewhere to go.

·        When you suddenly ran on the street, a car screeches in front of you, and the driver yells at you for “WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!” do not be angry.  Understand that you weren’t supposed to ran down the street anyway, and you were a hair’s breath away from being slaughtered.

·        Lastly, please use pedestrian lanes.  I cannot stress this enough.  You will save both yourself and the driver the agony of getting you in the hospital and making sure you’re fine.  How hard is it to look for those white horizontal lines on every street anyway? T_T

That being said, I shall now log off before you pepper me with your insults. While a driver may be a sweet lover, a driver could also be a murderer if he hits another person unintentionally. So please, let’s make the road safe for everybody. J

Toodles~

 P.S.

Again, as blogging is my form of rebellion against tyranny and grammar dogs, I shall post this without editing.  But if my friend the grammar nazi finds mistakes, well.. I'll have to update it to incorporate her changes. ^_^ 

My Minx getting a bath